Parenting Teens Blog

Keep current with what is happening in the world of parents and their teens. Below are our new and updated pages.

Valentine's Day Greetings

We are most thankful to be blessed with Loving Family and Friends. Glowing in the memories of yesterday, we are most thankful for the joys of today and ever hopeful for the promise of tomorrow. The first month of the New Year is already gone, the second, half way through. Time flies fast holding memories we treasure. Today is the tomorrow we talked about yesterday. We may already have reneged on our New Years resolutions. Starting over again today, let us renew our promise to love unconditionally. Let’s seize the opportunity to show that we care. A kind gesture can go a long way. While we reassure those we love, let us surprise those expecting nothing from us. Make someone’s day. Give someone a call, another, a smile. Wrap your arms around those hurting, lend a shoulder to those crying. Let us be there for one another. Love is what makes the world go round.

As we draw closer together as a family, let us draw even closer to our teens, our sparkling treasures. Let us not lose sight of the fact that they are in a vulnerable stage of their lives and need our guidance, direction and unconditional love. Remember, while we may not have it altogether, together we have it all.

May we share with you wonderful words from Victor Hugo, French novelist, poet and dramatist, that a friend just shared with us today. “The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.”

May today bring you untold joys and surprises. May your blessings far exceed your expectations. May your journey of life be a journey of love.

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!

Teens Traveling during Summertime

Summertime is a great time for teens to travel. You may travel as a family to fun places such as Disney World or other amusement centers. However if your teen expresses interest in traveling alone or with friends, do encourage it, if it is feasible. He or she can visit family, God parents, or friends elsewhere, or enroll in a student exchange program. A trip to a different cultural setting could be eye opening and most certainly, challenging. In researching, there are a few things to look into before waving good bye to your teen at the airport or train station.

1. Find out from your teen where she would like to visit and why. Maybe your teen is passionate about helping those less fortunate and so would like to volunteer services in a third world country. Maybe your teen would like the opportunity to improve her skills in the language spoken there. Your teen may be interested in bridging the cultural gap or maybe she simply desires an exotic holiday. Figuring out the above will tell you what your teen is hoping to learn from this trip.

2. Decide on whether arrangements will be made by the family or through enrolling in a program. The web site www.transitionsabroad.com gives a list of programs available for high school study abroad and teen travel. To avoid signing up with an organization that will not deliver, be sure to investigate their program adequately to know what to expect.

3. Inquire about costs involved. The earlier, the better, especially if your teen may have to get a job to help pay for the expenses.

4. Determine what documents and vaccinations would be required. Getting a passport and visa if required and taking all vaccinations could take some time.

5. Research on the climatic conditions of the country in question in order to select appropriate clothing. Remember clothing must be selected carefully bearing in mind the culture of the people.

6. Read extensively about the staple diet and meals of the host country. Your teen will be better prepared when it comes to selecting what she can eat if he has any allergies.

7. Ask your teen to take an interest in the language spoken in the host country. Communication is always the key to good relationships.

8. Equip yourself with information on the currency and how you could possible send money to your teen should that become necessary.

9. Be sure that you also figure out how you can communicate with your teen by phone, email etc.

10. Discover what you all can about the culture. A cultural shock is usually expected when one is in a completely different environment but its effects can be lessoned if adequate preparation is made.

As an exchange student with your teen possibly visiting another continent, she will broaden of her scope and will have the opportunity to share her culture with those in the host country, a truly priceless experience.

New Year Greetings

We have been immeasurably blessed this year. God has come through for us time and time again. Challenges have not discouraged us but have pushed us on to greater heights. Victories we have won through persistence and faith.

To all our readers our prayer for you is simple; May the blessings and joys of the past year be multiplied in the year 2010. May the desires of your heart come to pass. May your families be drawn closer and closer together in love, peace and understanding so that even when you and your teens listen to the same music but interpret it differently, you still can all dance to the same tune.

Love, health and peace to you, now and always.

Have an exciting and prosperous New Year!

Early College Preparation – Taking of SAT, ACT, etc .

Choosing what college to attend is a big decision, preparing for it, very challenging and time consuming. Planning ahead for college definitely pays off. Your teen will need all the help you can give him or her during this time.

1. Encourage your teen to take the PSAT and ACT as early as possible. Taking the tests in the 9th and 10th grades will give you and your teen ample time to concentrate on other preparations for college. It also allows ample time if scores need to be improved. Note that some topnotch colleges require scores from SAT 2.

2. Keep on file all your teen’s awards, community service project involvement information, and other achievements. They come in handy during the college application process. If your teen is athletic, record and put on CD some of his or her best sporting activities to submit to the colleges.

3. Suggest participation in AP (advanced placement) and IB (International Baccalaureate) classes. Not only does this increase competitiveness but it also shaves off years in college and money out of your pocket.

4. Discuss your teen’s interests and the colleges they are interested in. Narrow the list to between 6 to 12. Find out academic requirements, deadlines for applications as well as for scholarships for the colleges.

5. Divide the schools into three categories: the Ivy League schools that your teen desires to attend were there no limitations, the middle range excellent school that certainly require considerable effort to get into and the fall back schools that are not at all difficult to get into.

6. Create separate folders for each of these as you gather as much information as possible form each of these schools. You and your teen will be in a better position to make an informed decision as you review responses from the colleges. Compare what each college is offering.

7. Participate in summer programs offered by many colleges. There are dual-credit programs, enrichment and exploratory programs designed especially for juniors in the process of making college and career decisions.

8. Negotiate with the different colleges for better packages as you compare what each college is offering to your teen. Many colleges will improve their packages if they really want your teen to attend their school.

9. Sign up with the college that you and your teen eventually choose. With this process out of the way, you can now begin on other necessities which might involve emotional and psychological preparations. There may even be time for your teen to take a job to help with some of the expenses which will include clothes and other personal effects.

When your teen’s keen interest in a college in recognized, he or she may have the advantage of an early admission to that college as well as some financial assistance. Selecting a college in the senior year could cut out on theses opportunities. Starting your teen early in college preparation will give him a push ion life that will be unbelievably welcome.

Thanksgiving Message

Coming together with joyful hearts, giving thanks with all sincerity, in the company of those we love - This is Thanksgiving.

Taking time to listen and to understand, spending time with family and friends sharing memories and wonderful times past - This indeed, is Thanksgiving.

And to you our faithful parents, we pray that your life be filled with good things to be thankful for, even as ours are filled with thankfulness for you.

May your Thanksgiving Day unfold wonderfully, in the love and affection of family, and the warmth of friends.

Have a Most Happy Thanksgiving!

Teens in Home Improvement Projects

In spite of the fact that your teen seems to have so much homework, he or she seems to find time to text friends endlessly. And then of course, they hang out just talking or going to the mall or to the movies. Some of that time can be channeled into more constructive and productive ventures. If possible, involve your teen in home improvement projects. This will not only occupy his or her time but will allow the creativity inside him or her to shine.

1. Delegate jobs such as painting of walls and fences, and staining of wood surfaces to your teen. Your teen can call on friends to help if desired. That way, your teen gets to do something constructive while still spending time with friends. Be sure to spend some time with your teen while the project is being undertaken. Not only will you offer them the guidance they may need, but you will get to know your teen’s friends better.

2. Encourage your teen to create works of art to be hung up on your walls or to be displayed as standing pieces. Proudly introduce the budding artist to friends and family when they visit. No matter the outcome, show pride in his or her work.

3. Make available all supplies and equipment that might be needed for projects like sewing, knitting and crocheting. Your teen might be interested in making throw pillows for the chairs, floor pillows, place mats and table runners, or even drapes. When you and your teen have decided what project could be tacked in your home, a visit to craft stores like Jo-Anns, Hobby Lobby and Michaels Craft Store, will give you ideas and items that you may need to tackle your project. What they do not have, you may be able to get at Home Depot or at Lowes. Sales associates will also be able to help with ideas.

4. Encourage your teen to take an interest in cooking. Maybe he or she can prepare dinner for the family at the weekend and after trying out recipes, maybe your teen can prepare a six course dinner, invite a few friends and host an exciting dinner event.

There is no doubt that convincing your teen to take an interest in conceptualizing and executing projects could be an uphill task. Many teens these days not only have other interests, but are accustomed to purchasing items already made and ready for use. Learning to make and create items will offer them a skill which could come in very handy for use now and in the future. Not only can one save money when projects are carefully planned on a budget but teens can also be constructively occupied and therefore hopefully stay out of trouble. Besides, working on a project with your teen will offer you the opportunity to draw close to each other.

Teen Authors - Teens Writing and Submitting Articles

Your teen loves to read and write. Whether it is vacation time or school is in session, researching information and writing articles can be fun and rewarding for your teen, the family and the community. Give your teen your undying support should they express interest in writing articles for newspapers, magazines, and websites. Imagine your joy when an article is accepted and published. But what does one write about and what are the possibilities?

1. Have your teen identify local issues that are of interest to the community. Environmental, social, economic and political issues are always captivating. Articles can be submitted to the local newspapers. Researching information for such articles will require trips to the local city offices and meeting with lots of personalities, all giving your teen just the right kind of exposure that could come in handy when one is eventually looking of a job in related areas.

2. Ask your teen to target magazines such as Readers Digest, Guide Post and Architectural Digest. Literature on bravery, perseverance, faith and loyalty are inspiring and when well written, should be accepted by them. A piece on interior design, especially if your teen is the designer, will make interesting reading in Architectural Digest.

3. Encourage him to approach businesses and schools and offer to write an article on them. Many businesses will be delighted at the exposure and advertisement the article will bring to their business or school.

4. Advice him to look up websites accepting articles. Many have guide lines assisting writers to meet the standards required to have their articles published.

5. Suggest to your teen to look into the possibility of being a part of a team that writes, edits and publishes. This could be the committee for the school magazine or the church bulletins. Working with a team will offer him the opportunity to study the entire process of putting out an article, from its conceptual stage to the final product.

6. Encourage the establishment of his own magazine or even a book. As well as personally writing articles, your teen can invite articles from others and with desk top publishing, bring out magazines. Having identified establishments to be supplied with these magazines, articles should then be tailored to suit their needs.

7. Challenge him to contact TV and Radio stations. A teen amateur journalist with a few publications to his name would make a good story especially if some of the articles are submitted to the stations. Invitations to be interviewed by the stations are a great possibility and your teen could very be on the road to something big!

The possibilities are endless and the sky is really the limit. Many have been offered jobs or internships once their potentials were realized and others have gone on to establish their own publishing companies. An early start will mean years of experience and will definitely be an advantage over and above other candidates when employers are offering jobs.

Stress Management for Teenagers

Stress management for teens is important life skill, especially if high academic expectations and peer relationships are causing a lot of stress.

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Teen Entrepreneurship - Teens Starting Their Own Business

Your teen is looking to make some money. Whether it is during vacation time or school time, starting his or her own business, while affording your teen the opportunity to be creative and imaginative, will also give your teen total control of his or her time and ultimately of money generated from the business. Introduce to your teen, the idea of starting a business, alone or with friends. What business can they establish? The sky is the limit. Here a few suggestions to help your teen get started.

1. Have your teen write down a list of several things they are interested in if they are not sure what business they should establish. This list should include their hobbies. Dissect each of these interests to see what business could be built around them. For example, if your teen is artistic she could make cards with various themes and for different occasions. Special celebrations like Mother and Father’s Day, Valentine’s Day, Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Kwanza, New Year’s Day, just to mention a few. To ensure that cards are available for purchase each day, there should also be cards for birthdays, graduation, get well soon wishes, friendship and family appreciation and other everyday cards. Books on card making are available everywhere and your teen can learn a lot by reading or attending classes.

2. Suggest to your teen, if she is more academically inclined, to organize after school classes that will help younger kids with their homework and in areas that they find challenging. Many parents return from work exhausted only to find piles of homework waiting for them to help their kids with or read through. For parents who for one reason or the other are not in the position to help their kids, these kids are at a disadvantage. Even though many set-ups are available to help kids in their academic work, many parents cannot take advantage of theses places because they have no way of getting their kids to and fro. A structured environment run by responsible high school students in the neighborhood where kids can walk to in groups will be most welcome.

3. Remind your teen about the more frequently established businesses like babysitting, lawn mowing, house cleaning, fence painting or staining. There is also errand running like picking up groceries, trips to the dry cleaners, or taking kids to and from extra curricular activities. Snow shoveling and leaf raking are also possibilities. Many will pay for their dogs to be walked or for pets to be watched.

No matter what your teen decides, research should be done to determine what would be a reasonable price to charge. Freebies should be thrown in to attract customers. Especially for teens who are leaning towards entrepreneurship as a career later on in life, an early start could not be more helpful. Even for those who have other interests, an opportunity in handling a project and managing the financial aspect can help them successfully plan and organize their own finances.

Back to School – Connecting with School to Ensure Student Success

Now that school is well under way, and most kids have settled nicely into their school routines, what can parents do to ensure a successful school year? Here are a few tips to help parents connect with school and their teens.

1. Pay attention to your child’s grades. Give the necessary help to the child who may need more help. Stay in touch with your child’s teacher and cooperate with the suggestions the teachers come up with to help your child succeed. Remember you are on the same side and it is not only the teacher’s responsibility to educate your child.

2. Employ professional help where necessary to give your child the best chance of success. There are several programs like Kumon, Chinese Math, Sylvan etc that can help to improve your child’s grades and self confidence.

3. Be realistic about your expectations of your child. Pay more attention to your child’s work ethic and perseverance than to his actual school grade. Always encourage your child to excel, but realize that not every child is an A student, and that is okay. The world currently has several people in key positions who were not Grade A students. Always affirm your child, if he is doing his best, and encourage the development of other gifts that he may have.

4. Have a designated area and time for homework, and help your child stick to this. Eliminate distractions from the Television, videos etc during homework time. The computer is required for homework sometimes but make sure it is being used for homework, and not a source of distraction for your teen.

5. For some children, the parent actually has to go the extra mile and confirm that the homework assignment has been completed, and not only that, you may need to remind your child to put the completed homework in his back pack and to remember to turn it in. Self motivated teens usually do not need this extra step, but less organized children do and going the extra mile will eventually pay off for both you and your child.

School success can be achieved with teens who are organized and who know that their parents are involved, and have great expectations of them. Know your children well, be in tune with them, and encourage them to achieve their highest potential in all areas of their school experience this year.

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Back to School – Preparing for a Great School Year

Even as teens get ready for school, many parents are left with mixed feelings. Some are happy that the long summer is over, and their children will have some structure in their lives again. Others are a little apprehensive, about how their teens will perform in school. Will they make good grades? Will they make the cheerleading and various sports teams? Will the parents be able to keep up with the commitment of all the after school activities, whilst maintaining sanity in their own lives. Below are a few helpful suggestions to make the school year a success.

1. Ensure that your teens are adequately rested before the school year begins. As much as your teens may resist this, it is a great idea to get them back into regular bedtime and daytime routines.

2. Decide on nutritious meals and snacks for the school year. Find out if the school lunch is nutritious. If you decide on a sack lunch from home, encourage packing the lunch the night before. A lot of teens are pressed for time in the mornings, and just decide not to take lunch. This interferes with concentration in school, and also leads to overeating.

3. Remind your teens to complete any summer reading projects they may have been given. Actually check to make sure that the assignments have been done. You want your teen to start the school year on a good note with all staff and teachers.

4. Talk to your teen, and find out if they are apprehensive about going back to school, especially for those who may be starting middle school or high school in a brand new school. Some teens will come up with vague complaints of headaches and stomach aches. One parent whose child kept complaining of headaches took him on a tour of his new school. They met the teachers and discussed what a typical day would be like for him. That was the end of the headaches. He is now looking forward to the new school year.

5. Discuss the expectations of the school year with your teen, including grades, sports, attire and behavior. Teach them the value of organization. Have a designated time and place for homework and limit TV, video games and computer time. The aim is to teach teens the value of hard work, persistence, goal setting and challenging themselves to become the best that they can be. Lead by example. Be present in your teen’s life. Pay attention when they talk to you. Be a part of the school experience. Interact with the teachers, and know how your teen is doing in school. And remember to always take the time to congratulate them on a job well done.

So, here is to a wonderful and successful school year for both you and your teen.

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Summertime Fun – Encouraging Age Appropriate Summer Jobs.

A Summer job for a teen? Yes, those are still available if you know where to look. It may not be exactly what you and your teen have in mind but the experience to be gained is priceless and the opportunity must not be passed up. The life lessons learned will give your teen an insight into the working world, that will go a long way to prepare him for life after school.

1. Start your search in your neighborhood if possible. Your local bookstore is a great place to start. The academic atmosphere in bookstores such as Barnes and Noble, Borders and Half Price Books is an ideal place for a teen. Surrounded by literature of all genres, your teen, taking advantage of this could cultivate a habit of reading, a habit increasingly rare in teens today!

2. Ask your teen to apply for a position as a sales associate in a store. A job in a department store of any kind, Upscale, Mid-Range, Discount/Super-Store or the Off-Price retail store will offer your teen a valuable experience in the world of retail. With the opportunity to work in different departments your teen will not only learn about a variety of products but may master customer service skills. He may even learn some business acumen and managerial skills, knowledge, which could come in very handy later on in life.

3. Encourage working in craft shops like Hobby Lobby, Michaels, Jo-Ann’s Fabric Store and Hancock just to mention a few, if your teen is interested in crafts. Your teen will be exposed to an unbelievable variety of challenging and imaginative art projects.

4. Explore the possibility of your teen working in a Child Care Facility. As a teacher or caretaker of children, your teen will learn how to be a role model, imbibe younger children with knowledge and offer direction and guidance. Another by-product of working with children, patience!

5. Submitting applications to Assisted Living Homes, Nursing homes, Rehabilitation centers will increase your teen’ s chances of finding a job. Working with the aged or with the physically challenged for whatever reason, can open your teen’s eyes to the world of medicine, psychology or psychiatry.

Where paying jobs are hard to come by, volunteer jobs may still be available, especially in an economy where employers would be more than happy to decrease their expenditure. And where experience is a plus inadvertently disqualifying your inexperienced teen, volunteering at a work place one year thereby gaining experience, may guarantee a job the next year at the same or similar outfit. Be sure however to prepare your teen adequately to equip him or her with the tools to handle the job. Many a teen has lost patience while babysitting or dealing with irate customers. With the right attitude, your teen may even be asked to stay on when school start, working during the weekend. That way it is a win-win case for all.

Summertime Fun – Enrolling Your Teen in Summer Camp

With several activities lined up to keep your teen occupied, safe, challenged and entertained, summer camp is definitely an option to consider during the holidays. Shopping for a summer camp that will work for you and your teen requires careful thought.

1. Engage your teen in a conversation that will point you to the direction that you should be looking at. After you have found out what your teen is interested in pursuing during the holidays, you will be in a better position to choose which camp will best interest him. Some camps offer a wider variety of activities than others and are therefore more likely to cater to your teen’s needs. Time spent at camp must be time well spent by your teen.

2. Contact Camp Organizers. Get a calendar outlining the programs and fire away all the questions you may have. For example, if swimming is on the list, find out what safety precautions have been taken to prevent accidents, presence of lifeguards, etc and what the student/teacher ratio is. Not all your questions may be answered but hopefully most will. Remember, you are leaving your precious teen in their hands and you must make sure that they are responsible and will take all necessary precautions to ensure safety.

3. Consider distance and transportation. Does the camp provide transportation? If not, is car pooling with others you know are interested in the same camp a possibility? If it is close enough, can your teen with other responsible teens walk or ride their bikes to camp, looking out for each other as they do so?

4. Encourage your teen to be adventurous and to try new and healthy activities. While for some, sporting activities such as swimming, soccer, karate, basket ball and football provide good exercise but may in fact be nothing new for your teen, roller and ice skating, acrobatics, horse riding, and robotics may present a greater and more exciting challenge.

5. Support your teen when his choice is non athletic. For many, camp may be the only opportunity they ever get to discover hidden talents. Lessons in art, ceramics, dance, drama, culinary lessons, sewing, carpentry, sculpture and the like can unearth buried potentials.

6. Embrace a choice for music lessons. An opportunity for voice lessons, while it may not ensure that your teen is the next big thing in Hollywood, could go a long way in boosting his confidence. Learning to play the harp, cello, piano, violin, a percussion or wind instrument can be very rewarding.

7. Offer your teen the opportunity to go more academic should that be his preference. Language learning such as French, Chinese, and Spanish are offered in some camps. Others offer computer classes, creative writing, learning of other cultures, history, science and math.

When a lot has been taken into consideration and the right camp for your teen has been selected, a whole new world of friends, fun, talent, sports and academics can be opened up to him or her.

Advantages of Being a Single Parent

Very little has been said about the advantages of being a single parent. They include sole discretion over finances the opportunity to choose religion, lifestyle and rules for your children.

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Single Parenting Has Its Disadvantages

Single parenting has disadvantages for both the parent and the child. These include increased financial burdens for the parent, and academic problems for the child.

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Single Parenting

Single parenting has become a very acceptable way of raising your children. Teach them well and be proud of yourself as well as your child!

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Parenting Teenagers

Parenting teenagers is a rewarding experience when your teen is prepared for the likely obstacles he or she will face!

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Different Parenting Styles Affect Children Differently

Parenting styles have an effect on children. Authoritarian, authoritative, permissive and uninvolved parenting styles produce different child qualities.

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Parenting

Parenting has evolved in recent years to become much more inclusive, while still keeping the core values of raising a child!

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Peer Pressure For Teenagers

Peer pressure for teenagers doesn't have to be a burden for your teen. Discuss ways to handle certain situations!

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Parenting the Adopted Teenager Can Be Challenging, And Rewarding

Parenting an adopted teenager can be tough. Patience and understanding are very important tools if your teen is angry about being adopted, and finding destructive ways to deal with that anger.

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Teen Self Esteem

Teen self esteem plays a major role in good decision making!

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Parenting Troubled Teens

Parenting troubled teens can be frustrating but when your child needs help, he or she needs your support.

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Resources For Parenting Teens

Resources for parenting teens!

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Summertime Fun - Hosting Teen Activities in Homes

As promised, we will elaborate on each suggested activity under our Summertime Fun series. Hosting teen activities can be exciting and fun for both you and your teens. Involve them in the planning and the program should be a success.

1. Organize yourselves as parents, so that each day a parent will be available to host the activities. Even if a parent can only take a half day off, it is better than nothing. Another parent can take over the rest of the day. Both moms and dads need to be involved as much as possible. The more parents are involved, the less often each parent will have to take off from work. If on the other hand there are enough Stay at home parents to rotate reasonably without leaving the responsibility to only a few parents, then parents who have to go to work can contribute in other ways.

2. Ensure that each parent is clear as to what his or her financial responsibility is. Contributions should be made in cash and kind as agreed upon. When discussions have been held and agreements made, it would be easier if everything was put down on paper or sent by e-mail to all parents involved.

3. Make a list of all possible activities and make them available to the teens. Board games are in abundance at the shops and the teens can bring from home what they already have. Games like Trivia and Are you smarter than a Fifth Grader are exciting as well as educational. Chess, Monopoly, cards and checkers have been popular games throughout the decades.

4. Get a good collection of age appropriate movies of all genres. Interesting movies through the different time periods would broaden their scope. Movies like ‘The Three Musketeers,’ ‘The Man in The Iron Mask,’ and ‘The Mask of Zorro,’ all set in an earlier time period, while entertaining are still educative. Encourage them to bring their own movies to watch with their friends as well. Whenever possible you can take them all to the movies.

5. Encourage other indoor and outdoor activities that your teens themselves might suggest. Art projects, cooking, dancing, working out or playing of an instrument might keep them well occupied. Then there is basket ball and swimming and of course the unavoidable video games. Remember, the most important thing is to keep the teenagers gainfully occupied such that everyday, they would be eager participants.

Safety precautions must be observed at all times. Nothing must be left to teenagers who are in a habit of taking things for granted. Maybe if his Dad had known he was headed for the lake, he would have put his foot down saying no, and Henry would still have been here with us today. While still working on this blog, I have had to go and see the lifeless body of my teenage nephew. He drowned last night at the lake. Henry will be missed most dearly. Let’s avoid this happening to another teen.

Summertime Fun - Keeping Kids Gainfully Occupied and out of Trouble - Part 2

If you are still at a loss as to how you can keep your teen busy and out of trouble, don’t despair anymore. Below is the second part of our two part blog offering you exciting activities which are not only entertaining but are educational as well. No matter your teen’s interest, he is bound to find something he will enjoy participating in one way or the other and this could even be a start to a wonderful career.

1. Involve your teen in home improvement activities, like the reorganization of items, redecoration of rooms and spaces, housekeeping to include cleaning and cooking. Your teen can organize his or her friends to help paint or stain fences, polish furniture, or clean windows. They can also do simple yard work or gardening and landscaping. Those interested in carpentry, with good supervision and age appropriate tools should be encouraged.

2. Get your teen started in college preparation such as taking the SAT, ACT tests etc. It will give them a push in life that will be unbelievably welcome. He or she can also take a creative writing course or computer classes at a community college.

3. Encourage traveling to visit family elsewhere, or as an exchange student. Summertime is a great time to keep grandparents company. Spending time with cousins or friends who live elsewhere will afford your teen an opportunity to experience new things. As an exchange student with your teen possibly visiting another continent, your teen will be exposed to a new culture, will broaden his of her scope and will have the opportunity to share his or her culture with those in the host country. You may also travel as a family to fun places such as Disney world or other amusement centers.

4. Suggest to your teen, organizing talent shows for he and his peers or for younger siblings and their friends. Preparing for a talent show although informal and meant for entertainment can still be demanding and time consuming. It will keep your teen busy and out of trouble.

5. Set aside days where you can have Father and Son days or Mother and Daughter days. Considering that you as a parent should be your teen’s role model, it is important that you make time to have fun with your teen. This will boost his confidence.

6. Introduce a game of role playing after identifying careers they might want to pursue in future. Imagine how knowledgably your teen will be after spending several hours researching a career he might want to pursue or at least is interested in.

Even though certain activities such as participating in an exchange program might require prior planning, many other activities require little or no planning. Activities suggested are both entertaining and educational. At the end of the summer, your teen would have learned responsibility, acquired organizational skills and perhaps even discovered hidden talents!

Symptoms of Teen Depression

Teen depression is a very real illness. Over 500,000 teens try to end their lives, and over 5,000 succeed. Learn how to spot it and what to do about it.

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Father’s Day Salutations to our Awesome Fathers

Kudos to you Fathers! Your babies smile just to hear your voice. They dance at the sound of your footsteps and they receive you with open arms.

Your toddlers bubble excitedly at your sight, waiting to be carried up high, much higher than you.

Your preschoolers talk about you all the time, beaming with pride as they tell of your feats.

Your Kindergartners make drawings of you, pictures which leave you wondering why your mirror has been lying to you.

Your tweens can’t wait to go camping with you, competing with you on fishing trips for the catch of the day.

Your teens challenge you to a game of basket ball and you learn the painful truth when you lose game after game that age is creeping up on you.

Your young adults excitedly tell you about their new jobs and before you know it spouses to be are introduced to you.

Then come the little bundles of joy and the little voices that call you Grand Pa. You are filled with emotion as it starts all over again, well, kind of.

You remember when babies reached a milestone, high school and college graduations made you swell with pride, your walk down the altar, and the birth of your grand children.

Sure, many challenging days but it was all more than worth it. And if you have not yet gone through all of the above, grease your elbows. There is a lot of work ahead and with it immeasurable joy!

Through it all, you have exhibited courage, integrity, strength and sacrifice. Kudos, Fathers. As you continue the journey of fatherhood, may you and your sons drum to the same beat while you and your daughters sway to the same tune.

We wish you all a most joyful and restful time as you celebrate your special day. Kudos!

Summertime Fun – Keeping Kids Gainfully Occupied and out of Trouble - Part 1

Challenging enough, no doubt, it was when during the school year parents had to ensure that their teens were safe while they were at work. Extra curricular activities such as sports, band, drama club meetings, debate societies and the like helped a great deal, keeping teens actively engaged in productive activities after school. Now school is out and from the moment teens wake up which could be at noon, (a relief to some parents who then will have fewer hours to be concerned about,) to the time when many parents get back home from work which could be early evening, parents have the daunting task of ensuring that their kids are not only staying out of trouble but are making the best use of their time. Here is help for you! Find below, part 1 of a two blog series listing several activities to keep teens and younger siblings constructively occupied. For the next few weeks we will be elaborating on the suggestions breaking them down into very doable ventures to get you and your teen started.

1. Organize yourselves as parents so that you can take turns hosting teen activities instead of teens staying home alone unsupervised. Activities can be as simple as playing board games, movies, swimming or playing basket ball. Beware though. The likelihood of all of the above being ignored and video games taking over is a great possibility.

2. Enroll your teen in summer camps offering sporting activities such as swimming, soccer, karate etc. They can also take music lessons playing instruments such as the guitar, piano, flute or voice lessons.

3. Encourage age appropriate summer jobs. Your teen can work at local bookstores, department stores, day cares or assisted living homes. This will give them an opportunity to be responsible. And should paying jobs be difficult to come by, your teen can always volunteer at facilities such as the YM/WCA.

4. Introduce the idea of your teen starting a business, alone or with friends. Having identified their own strengths, they can offer classes for younger kids in subjects they can comfortably handle, charging reasonably. They can start a lawn mowing or home cleaning business.

5. Give your teen your undying support should they express interest in writing articles for newspapers, magazines, and websites. Imagine your joy when an article is accepted and published.

6. Set aside time to spend with your teen in recreational activities such as watching movies, visiting recreational centers and parks, the theater etc. Not only will you get to know them better the more time you spend with them, but you get to supervise them yourself, while they are still having fun.

When you have taken the time to find out your teen’s interests be sure to assist them in getting started. That way, not only will they be contently occupied but you will also have your peace that they happy, safe and sound.

Parenting the Adopted Teenager

If your teen answers with monosyllables when previously as a child she would have talked non stop and communication lines seem to be flowing in one direction only, that is from you to her, wait till she finds out she is adopted and watch as traffic flow from her end to yours plummets to zero.

OK, it needn’t be all that bad but there usually is a significant reduction in the amount of words in each sentence, and the amount of sentences that will be coming in your direction. Equipped with the right information on how to deal with this situation, you will be able to help your teen overcome the struggles she will be facing.

1. Be sure to be the one to let your teen know she is adopted especially when it is not so obvious. If your teen is from a different race, chances are that even as a child you have been asked several times and have had to tell your adopted child already. Your teen is bound to feel betrayed if she hears it from any other source other than her parents

2. Share with your teen information that surrounds her adoption with as much tact as you can especially if the circumstances were not pleasant. Avoid words like abandoned and rejected, replacing them with words like ‘gave up’ or ‘placed in’.

3. Speak with respect about her birth parents no matter who they are, where they are, or what they did without glorifying any actions, attitudes or behavior that should not be condoned. Remember, your teen could have certain traits and if they are traits you would not want to see in your child, by all means do not encourage them.

4. Understand your teen’s need to learn about her birth parents. Teenagers go through this period when they are struggling with identity issues. Their need to be accepted by their family and peers drives them to try and discover who they are and why they are a certain way.

5. Willingly help in whatever way you can if your teen would like to trace her birth parents. She may be feeling guilty about wanting to meet them, fearing that you may feel unappreciated and unaccepted. Give her the reassurance and support that she needs.

6. Observe your teen closely at all times being on the look out for psychological issues such as depression and bipolar especially if there is a history of this in the biological family.

Remember that anger at being adopted, coupled with the fact that teenagers are on a mission of self discovery and identity may complicate life for a while for you and your teen. With patience and love, and the help of a professional, such as a counselor should that become necessary, you should be able to wade through the turbulent waters, living a life of joy and fulfillment.

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The Day Worth Celebrating

Setting a day aside for the entire nation to remember those whose lives were taken away from them at war is, for lack of a better word, thoughtful. But those who lost sons or daughters, fathers or mothers, other relatives or friends, do not really need this day to remember them. For most of them, the mental faculty of retaining and recalling the life, now lost, of a loved one is forever alive. Not a single day goes by without the memory of their loved ones flooding their minds.

We are eternally grateful for the sacrifices made on our behalf and for the nation as a whole. But how exceedingly wonderful would it have been if our loved ones did not have to lose their lives? Would it not be a blessing if wars were eliminated and we found a way of resolving our differences so that lives are preserved instead of destroyed?

A public figure running for office, whose background was dug into, with the hope of finding skeletons in his closet, was asked about an incident in his life 27 years ago. His cool, calm and calculated response was that he was not concerned about what happened 27 years ago, but was rather concerned about what would happen to the children of today in 27 years, if certain drastic changes were not made.

We cannot help agreeing with Andy Rooney who on the TV program '60 Minutes' said and I quote, “Remembering doesn’t do the remembered any good, of course. It's for ourselves, the living. I wish we could dedicate Memorial Day, not to the memory of those who have died at war, but to the idea of saving the lives of the young people who are going to die in the future if we don’t find some new way - some new religion maybe - that takes war out of our lives.

That would be a Memorial Day worth celebrating.”

Just imagine if we never had to mourn the death of another loved one through war. What better tribute to those who have already made the sacrifice to let their deaths open our eyes to life and urge us to preserve the lives of many who are yet to be sent to the war front!

Yes indeed! That would most certainly be a Memorial Day worth celebrating!

Teen Stress Management

The list is endless. School assignments and projects mounting up and due by a certain date. Extra curricular activities such as band, debate societies and clubs zap up even more energy from our teens. Athletics leaves them breathless and by the time they get home, household chores feel like punishment. We have not yet mentioned the emotional stress peer pressure often brings on our teens – the struggle to fit in against all odds.

When your teenager is chronically fatigued or ill, shuts down, is easily irritable and anxious, has problems eating and sleeping and is having trouble maintaining focus, you very well may be staring stress in the face!

It is without doubt time to combat stress. Here are a dozen ways you can help your teen stay above the drowning waters.

1. Begin your teen’s day by providing him with a well balanced meal for breakfast.

2. Encourage him to make a list of all that he needs to do each day, and not to rely on his memory. It is probably overworked already.

3. Teach your teen to prioritize. It may not be realistic to accomplish everything within the time period allotted to each activity. Remember, Rome was not built in a day!

4. Ask him to try concentrating on one thing at a time and not try to do two things at the same time.

5. Suggest that he retreats into a quite spot, close his eyes and meditate. He could also think about his most favorite movie, or book.

6. Take a walk with him if possible. A walk with company can be energizing and still relaxing.

7. Provide soft calming music. Merely suggesting to your teen to listen to calming music might leave you all deaf if your teen is one for the loud, fast, ground shaking succession of notes of varying pitches and decibels!

8. Remind him to take a break to read a book of jokes or listen to his favorite comedian. Whatever he chooses to do let it be something that will bring him laughter.

9. Urge him to drink much water or healthy fruit juices. Avoiding beverages with caffeine will help keep him calm.

10. Help him keep his immediate surroundings pleasant and relaxing.

11. Encourage him to stand up and stretch, or exercise a little.

12. Insist on a reasonable bedtime so he can get as much sleep as needed. Meanwhile have him set the alarm 15 minutes early so he does not have to rush.

As always remember that you should be your teen’s role model. How you handle stress may go a long way in determining how he handles it. Apart from inheriting from you certain genes which he could have done without, he now has no choice but to be your spectator as you act your part as his role model. Pointing him in the right direction as early as possible will go a long way in helping him cope with situations under stress.

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Mother’s Day Message to all our Special Moms

Just think of all that you exuberate, your love and warmth, your wisdom and good judgment, your guidance and protection.

Think of what a dependable source of comfort you are, always available to cushion your children when they fall, then picking them up with strong but gentle arms, encouraging them as you show them the way.

You have been the light, when all looked dark and gloomy. You have been the voice when silence enveloped your children. You have been the warmth they needed when icy words and stares came their way. Your loving arms around them have been the reassurance that they have needed.

When you have scolded, it was to teach them the right way. When you have said no, it was because yes, would have hurt them. When you have said you did not know, it was because you did not to want to lie. And when you have shared what you knew it was to imbue them with knowledge.

So sit back and relax, be the Queen God made you to be. Take a break if you can, just enjoy the day.

You are a wonder, a star, a gem of priceless value, unique and extraordinary, special in everyway imaginable.

As you celebrate the day, give praise and thanks to our God, who filled your arms with love and life, giving you the gift of motherhood.

Waltz with your teens, quickstep with your tweens. Twist if you have twins and jiggle with your todds.

Sing with your children, dance to the drums. Sway to the music, clap to the rhythm. Move your body, step to the beat. Whatever you do with your children, just stay in tune!

Let joy fill your heart, be grateful to the Good Lord. Celebrate your motherhood! You are truly a gift to the world!

May you have the best Mother’s Day ever!

The Swine Flu - No Laughing Matter

She was anxiously looking for a surgical mask. That Wal-Mart store had already sold out the day before. "It is for my Dad", she told us. “He won’t fly unless he has it and he has to travel.” We, also customers were immediately concerned. With our growing fears of the swine flu, I could imagine what it would be like to be in a confined space for hours with anybody who coughed or sneezed, maybe even yawned! I asked where he was flying to and how long the trip was. She smiled, “Oh round the corner to Austin. It is a thirty minute ride.”

We all burst into laughter, including her. We had been expecting an out of state, maybe even out of country trip with several hours on the plane. “I will tell my father you laughed at him”, said this very friendly lady. “You see, he is 80, and is afraid of coming down with anything.”

“Try Lowe’s or Home Depot,” I suggested to her. This was no laughing matter. “At that age, all he needs is his peace of mind”, I added. Would the mask help in preventing him getting infected, some think so. But what really matters now is the reassurance we have when we feel we have done all we could possibly do to prevent contracting this flu.

And what have we heard about this flu? Apart from the deaths it has caused and much sickness, it has planted fear into the very fabric of our lives. Schools have been shut down, as have some businesses. Sporting games have been cancelled, air travel trips reduced, ship cruises rerouted and yes, proms rescheduled. This is definitely no laughing matter!

Yet, we cannot let it eat away at our lives. What can we possibly do to help ourselves and our families?

1. Wash your hands consistently with soap while observing the proper hand washing procedures which include running your hands under water for at least 20 seconds, and turning the tap or faucet, especially in public places off with a paper towel and not your freshly washed hands.

2. Carry with you a bottle of hand sanitizer when you can find one on the store shelves, especially when you have children who are bound to touch everything you ask them not to.

3. Avoid unnecessary contacts if possible. Some are avoiding handshaking.

4. Examine your life carefully and make adjustments. Most will be things you should have been doing always anyway. Wash all fruit and vegetables even those you will cook.

5. Keep food covered always. Whenever possible, eat it hot.

Hand washing, general hygiene such as showering regularly, washing soda cans before drinking from them, coughing and sneezing away from people while covering your mouth will give us some measure of control over a situation which for the most part is out of our hands. And yes, it is true. Old MacDonald did get rid of all the pigs on his farm!

Tips for the Exciting Prom Night

The time is finally here. Three months in planning and there are still things to be taken care of. With very little time left now, you need to ensure that you have covered all the basics in preparation for the prom.

1. Go through your to do prom list. Your daughter’s dress should have been bought by now or your son’s tux might just be hanging in his closet. Allowing three months for planning will give teen girls all the time they need to decide on color of clothes and accessories.

2. Pick up the corsages and boutonnieres on the day of the prom and stash them away in the fridge to avoid wilting. Their colors either have to match the clothes worn or are neutral.

3. Check up on the wheels. If a limo is in the picture, call and check up to make sure that the limo company has the right date, time and address. If your car or a friend’s car will be used, make sure it is in good working condition. While a group of friends arrived at the prom sweating with their make up trickling down their faces because the air conditioner in the limo never really did work efficiently even after the limo driver had said it would’ kick in’, another couple on their way to the prom in their family car, had to call for help after their car refused to start again when they had stopped for mints at a corner store.

4. Ensure that your teen leaves with their prom tickets, money or credit card, cell phone and a survival kit. Girls would need to carry along in their kit, some make up for touch ups, some safety pins should there be a wardrobe malfunction and some hair pins to ensure that their hair stays in place. Both girls and boys could do with an instant stain remover, (tide to go pen would do) some mints for fresh breath always and a camera to capture those memorable moments if they so wish.

5. Go over other details with your teen to prevent any surprises for either of you. By now plans should have been solidified for after prom activities. Is your teen going out to eat with friends, to a party or to a movie after the prom? Make sure you have all the addresses of where they plan to be.

6. Remind your teen that etiquette is a must. Couples must pay attention to each other and must stay away form the cell phones except for emergencies. Table manners must be observed. Boys should hold doors open for girls and wait till girls are seated before taking a seat themselves.

7. Insist on no alcohol, no drugs, no sex. This should be nothing new to your teen.

Relax and watch a movie yourself at home while you sit up and wait if you choose to. Having equipped your teen with all that is needed, believe that all will be well.

Smoking and Peer Pressure

Nothing is as harmful as the lack of information when making a decision. Sometimes, a little information can be dangerous too, especially when your teen believes he knows it all and will not even seek help or more information. The issue of smoking and peer pressure will stare your teen blatantly in the face some day. The question is, what will your teen do? How can you prepare him so that he makes the right choice?

1. Let your teen know how highly addictive smoking is. If you are a smoker yourself, perhaps there are a few lessons you want to share with your teen. Maybe how you just tried a couple and then you were tempted to try some more, until the urge to have it always was much too strong to resist. Chances are he has already had a smoke or two from your pack! Or maybe you are struggling to quit. Ask him if he would like to put himself in a situation where his body is craving an unhealthy activity either during the period he is smoking or during the time he is trying to quit.

2. Educate your teen on the harmful effects of smoking. The chemicals inhaled from smoking are cancer causing substances or agents. His delicate lung lining can be damaged by smoke inhalation putting him at risk for colds and bronchitis. The oxygen in his blood stream is diminished from smoking, leaving the cells of the body lacking some energy which can cause cell death.

3. Make your teen aware of the unnecessary expense smoking can be. Present him with the various options and alternatives he can spend his money on. Remind him that when his body is craving nicotine at a time when he cannot afford it, it can drive him into all sorts of unacceptable behavior. Many addicts have been known to shop lift or steal money for a pack of cigarettes.

4. Remind your teen that his life should not be guided, or for that matter misguided by peer pressure. Teach him the importance of analyzing situations carefully always, to ask you or a counselor for guidance whenever confused, and never to follow the crowd blindly. If many or most of his friends smoke and he is often in their company, then he is unfortunately inhaling second hand smoke which is also dangerous.

5. Be observant and vigilant. Giving in to peer pressure, your teen could be smoking outside your home. While the smell of clothes may be an indicator that your teen is smoking, his breath is a better giveaway, since smelly clothes can be the result of being in the company of smokers.

It is a proven fact that the brain of teenagers is not fully developed and that they may truly not have all the mental faculties necessary to make the right choices. However when presented with all the information, teenagers are likely to make the right decisions.

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Easter Message

EASTER MESSAGE

At Easter,

As you are reminded of all God has done, Of who He is and how He sacrificed so much for you, May His joy fill you, May His hope refresh you, May the gift of salvation Bring you everlasting joy.

At Easter,

Praying that your day and those to come, Be filled with excitement and thoughtful moments. A special time for celebrating the wonder of the season And for catching glimpses of God’s amazing love for you.

At Easter,

May your family be extra blessed, May communication in the entire family be revamped, As you dance with your teens, May you step to the rhythm and sway to the beat All in harmony with your teen.

Have an ‘eggstra’ blessed time.

Teenagers

Teenagers face so many issues that we as parents might not fully understand. Sometimes the best thing we can do for our teen is to offer a listening ear!

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Auto Insurance for Your Teen

Auto insurance for you teen will be expensive, but there are things you can do to keep the cost down. And things to do to ensure he stays safe.

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A Prepaid Credit Card Can Teach Your Teen Money Management

A prepaid credit card with a low limit can help your teen learn to budget and manage money responsibly.

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Teenagers and Money Management

The sooner your teen learns money management skills, the better prepared she will be to go out on her own when the time comes. You can help her learn those skills.

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Home Remedy For Teenage Acne

Try a home remedy for teenage acne! From oatmeal to avocados, there's one for you and your skin type!

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Healthy Diet For Teenagers

A healthy diet for teenagers is very possible - with proper guidance, education, support and a good example from you, the parent!

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Goal Setting Teenager

Your goal setting teenager learns by example! Instill your good character and decision making in the youth of tomorrow!

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Goal Setting Teen

A goal setting teen becomes a goal setting adult!

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Cure For Teenage Acne

A preventive cure for teenage acne includes proper skin care and good nutrition!

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A Credit Card for Your Teen?

Should your teen have a credit card? There are advantages and disadvantages. If they can keep spending under control, a credit card can help them develop a good credit rating.

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Today's Teens -- The Cell Phone Generation

Today's teens are the cell phone generation. A mobile phone can be a lifesaver. But owning a phone also has its responsibilities, which you should discuss with your teen.

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Building Self Esteem In Teenagers

Building self esteem in teenagers begins with love and support from the family unit!.

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